A LOTTERY OF IDIOTS PART III

I want to be crystal clear, I realize no matter how careful I were to plan out the use of this money or how hard I try to anticipate any problems the transition from my current life to the next (not in the death sense so calm down) will have its challenges. But its a challenge I am more than eager to take on. And really the challenge is to reinvent my self or in a very real sense to start over.

I don't simply look it as a 3 million dollars, I look at as a chance to start over with out all the nasty dieing stuff. The other thing to is that I have family in Montana I don't get to see very often so this would be a chance to be with them again. To quote a Depeche Mode song "I'm leaving anger and bitterness in the past with all the shadows it casts" That's what I want to do, I want to start over and try my luck again.

Why wouldn't more people want to do that instead of destroying them selves, I don't know but maybe someday I'll write a book on the subject, I should have plenty of time. So going back to the beginning of three part series and the TV show about the curse of the lottery I really don't believe there is a curse. The people they profiled were probably already on a path of self destruction, the money only moved up the time table on their demise.

The other thing I want to bring up is you get people who win the lottery and say they are going to divide it up among family and friends & admittedly at one time I thought I would so that but now thinking seriously I wouldn't. Its not because I'm selfish (not totally) or greedy, its gets complicated when it comes to family and friends. I won't say which family members or friends would be the bigger headaches but I can foresee some minor complications.

I would definitely be willing to help those that I care about if they needed help but even that would be on a case by case basis. It seems to me that spending money on your self and others are equally difficult and would require some diplomatic skill which means I am shit out luck. Finally I want to leave you with this, in China crisis means the same as opportunity. Even if its not, its still a good idea or if you have lemons make lemonade. Life is what you make of it and I could espouse a hundred more cliches but I won't.

-Jayson C.

July 10th 2009