Over the years I've started a number of blogs then left them to die unread. I can't even begin to tell you just how many but its at least ten and I don't know that this one will be any different but who knows, stranger things have happened. So you the reader are asking what will this blog be about and more importantly why should I care what someone I've never heard of has to say. I would say that that is a perfectly valid question.
After all there are millions of people out there in the blogosphere who have opinions on anything from politics, entertainment, social issues, etc...Some of them have long running blogs with some solid followings. Some of them have even garnered attention from small, medium and large media outlets. Is that attention deserved for what essentially amounts to an op-ed piece in a small town newspaper, I couldn't say.
What I will say is that alot of people have opinions or just something to say. How much is what they are communicating is actully worth something, I don't know that answer to that one either. That being said if democracy is ever to thrive then it has to be strong enough to withstand even the most banal of opinions and view points. Because the truth is while there may be quite alot of mediocre views out there, once in a while someone creates something of real value.
Now, do I believe that my little blog is going to be anything of substance or garner any serious attention, again one can not say. All I can hope to accomplish is that from this first blog and onward I can actually keep up with it. Maybe the reason for my past blog failures stems from that fact I always tried to hard to find something of substance or at least what others would deam as substance.
I believe now I simply have to write what I feel is interesting and if others find my content of interest then I'm proud to have actually produced some ioto of value. The bottom line is that most people I believe are seeking out some kind of validation for their opinions and thats not nessessarly a terrible thing. I would say its the wrong kind of motivation, because if you start from a place of wanting validation and you don't get said validation, it will hurt.
All that being said or in this case written my starting place is going to be personal and dare I say, selfish. All of us at one point or another have been accused of that particular behavior. I used to think that label was a negitive but I realize at this point, it can also be an asset. In the case of this blog it will be the place from where I draw my resolve to keep on blogging. Specifically my soul purpose here is to work through my personal issues.
I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, my issues aren't really that terrible just more existential. I know that may come off as little pretentious but at the moment, its the best word I acscribe to my current state of existance. In the end my best hope is that I find a way to work through all my little niggling psychosises and find some kind of purpose in my life. Believe me, I know there is something I want to do, I just don't know what it is.
Finally, I invite any and all constructive feedback but let me be clear, this is not Dr. Phil or any of the other myriade of self help talk shows that babble rating induced non-sense. I just want to get to the heart of who I am if such a thing exist. I look forward to communicating with all kinds of people and yes, even those people who think they are crazy. I find that crazy people tend to offer alot of unintended insight that is usually just ignored but sanity is ok to so welcome.
-Jayson C.
July 7th 2009
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